I came across a property the other day advertised with “duel aspect windows” (sic).

I was immediately put in mind of the incident when Lord Sash-Windowe famously called out Major P.V.C. Casement for suggesting he’d defenestrated his wife …

Both parties were injured, the local constabulary was called and the case eventually went to court where the judge recorded … an open verdict.

ahem

In last week’s Brighton-focused Five to View, I featured a pea-green house as the first property.

Granted, it might be a shade too lurid to suit all tastes, but I think it’s a great example of the many brightly coloured homes that are dotted around Brighton.

Coincidentally, a couple of days later I read a Telegraph article based on a survey by Sandtex Paints, which said that the colour of house you live in can reveal a lot about you.

And poor old green, bless it, was at the bottom of the house colour pecking order with typical occupants earning low salaries in unskilled jobs and driving second hand cars.

In contrast, inhabitants of blue houses typically earned the top salaries, drove the best cars and often had domestic help such as nannies and cleaners.

Looking at the list to see if there was a category for the peachy-pink façade boasted by our house I found, to my dismay, that it came second lowest in the list.

However, resident of unsuccessful, low-earning pink house or not, I still have the mental capacity to know that this fun survey is best taken with a pinch of salt!

Here’s what you’re supposed to earn, according to the colour of your home:

Average Annual Earnings by House Colour:
(Sandtex Paints Survey)

Blue £38,000
Red £23,500
White £23,400
Magnolia £23,100
Beige £20,800
Orange £20,000***
Purple £19,600
Grey £19,000
Yellow £18,500
Brown £18,400
Pink £14,500
Green £13,100

***Can I just point out that I have never in my life seen an orange house…does such a thing even exist?

You should never underestimate the power of a photo when marketing a property.

But sometimes discretion should definitely be the better part of valour and you really, really, really should just upload an ‘awaiting image’ pic, especially when the property you’re promoting looks like this:

Source: Lovely Listing.com

or this:

Source: Lovely Listing.com

or for sheer bizarro, how about:

Source: Lovely Listing.com

Bear? What bear? I can’t see a bear. Can you see a bear? Noooo, no bears here.

All these photos - and more besides - can be found over at the fantastic Lovely Listing.com, a site you may already be aware of following coverage the other week of the Twilight Zoned ‘Deformed Hand Or Giant Chicken Infestation?‘ photo.

And if you haven’t seen that, then where have you been?

The Property: The Old Girls School

The Place: Butterwick, Boston, Lincolnshire

The Price: £199,950 (Guide)

The Pain: This is Grade II listed and quite old (c.1859), and as a consequence you’ll have to tread carefully with your conversion plans. Any building this old has the potential to throw up costly surprises.

The Gain: It’s a charming old Victorian structure with some fine period features, including a tumbled gable, a projecting chimney stack, mullioned windows with cast iron lattice casements and fish scale tiled roofs.

The large central room with a timbered vaulted ceiling presents an interesting challenge: it’s a fantastic space that measures 39′11″ x 20′0″. Do you carve it up or keep it as is?

The agent estimates that it could cost £50,000-£75,000 to convert and if some of the adjoining land is included it could fetch £300,000 when completed.

The village is just down the road and has a pub, a general store, a post office and the Pinchbeck Endowed CE School.

The Agent: Savills, Lincoln (Tel: 01522 508 900)

Brighton: it’s been practically impossible to miss it in the media this week, what with the political circus that is the Labour party conference rolling into town last Sunday.

And what a telly-genic place it is, too, particularly when the sun is shining, as it’s been doing a lot over the past few days.

Even Gordon Brown looked almost cheerful as he took a stroll along the seafront earlier in the week.  At least, I think that was the sentiment his face was aiming for.

Anyway, as it happens, our lovely Winging It offices are located in Brighton so while it’s topical, we’re taking advantage - here’s a selection of homegrown homes for sale with ascending numbers of bedrooms:

(Click on pics for full property details)

1. Brighton 1 bedroom
From £150,000

2. Brighton 2 bedrooms
£225,000

3. Brighton 3 bedrooms
from £300,000

4. Brighton 4 bedrooms
£580,000

5. Brighton 5 bedrooms
£1,500,000

The last we heard from Jamie Oliver on the property front he was dishing out £3.25 million to buy his neighbour’s house in celeb hotspot Primrose Hill. The plan, apparently, was to knock the two into one vast 19-bedroom mega mansion.

When he’s not there Oliver, presumably, is out at his country estate pottering around like a feudal lord, cooking up a storm in the garden shed, and practising noblesse oblige on Brian the gardener.

All of this, my friends, is a long long way from the tousled headed cheekie chappie who bounced around his trendy Clerkenwell pad in the very first series of The Naked Chef.

That was in 1999. Remember 1999? House prices were on the rise, loft living had come to London, Brits were starting to take food seriously, and Jamie burst onto our screens like an enthusiastic puppy dog.

The Naked Chef is easy to parody now – pukka tukka, bish-bash-bosh, go on my son – and Oliver, with his banister slides (see Youtube vid below), moped rides, mockney catch-phrases and beautiful friends, annoyed the hell out of a lot of people.

But the show, and his genuine enthusiasm and energy, caught the mood of the times - and the house was rather nice too: great big kitchen with semi-circular work surface, timber floors, cool spiral staircase, plenty of room for all those boho buddies … and an overfed film crew as well.

The place is now on the rental market - £1,400 per week for 2700 square feet set over three storeys with a great array of geezer-pleasing gadgets such as the waterproof plasma screen in the spa bathroom.

Furnished or unfurnished through EQ Living (0843 2817 861). Altogether now … Wicked!!!

What do you do when your building plot includes an enormous horse chestnut tree that you’re not allowed to cut down?

Grand Designs devotees will remember that architect Peter Romaniuk and his clients David and Anjana Devoy solved this problem by creating a beautiful curved house that traces the perimeter of the site and extends an elegant, protective arm around the tree and the garden.

The tree provided further inspiration in the form of a timber clad upper floor that was constructed from chestnut wood by a specialist boat builder. The lower floor is walled with glass and leads out onto an enclosed courtyard with the tree as a central feature.

This, I have to say, is one of the most memorable houses in the history of Grand Designs and the sainted McCloud was suitably effusive:

“This is a truly stunning building, adorned with lots of wonderful touches. Despite all their efforts to save money, Anjana and David are indulging their home with the best they can get. And I think it’s worth it. They have space now, and light, and the makings of a home with real excitement…”

It is, indeed, a thing of beauty. If you have £1.5m to spare, Friend & Flacke will be happy to hear from you (Tel:0843 2811 308).

You may remember that we reported the case of Adrian and Gail Wallbank a few years ago – the couple who were being asked to pay £230,000 towards the repair of St John the Baptist church in Warwickshire.

The bill came to them because they had inherited a farm that included ‘rectorial land’ (land that once belonged to a medieval church). This defined them as ‘lay rectors’ and as such they were deemed liable for the upkeep of the area near the altar known as the chancel.

They have fought the claim for 18 years but last December they finally lost in the Court of Appeal and are now selling their farm with a guide price of £500,000.

They plan to use the proceeds of the sale to pay off the £230,000 church repair bill and recoup the £250,000 they have spent on legal fees.

This might sound like some obscure local covenant, but 3.5 million acres of land in England and Wales, and the homes, schools, hospitals and factories built on it, are now thought to be potentially at risk from this archaic law.

So if you’re buying a house, get your solicitor to do the necessary checks. Go to the main site to read our guide to chancel repair bills.

And in the meantime, spare a thought for the unfortunate Wallbanks, who might have expected the local church to pursue the letter of the law with a little less punitive zeal.

Here at Winging It we love a bit of duck-related design, so when we came across Matt Pugh’s sublimely silly Duck Lamp at 100% Design we just knew we had to share it with you.

So here it is … and I think you’ll agree that there are no further words from me that could improve upon the experience.

The Duck Lamp is available in Oak or Walnut, fitted with standard brass light fittings, and costs £95.

Know of any other designer objects inspired by ducks? We’re always looking to add to our collection …

Here’s an interesting graph from the latest Hometrack survey. What it shows is the recovery in house prices over recent months.

The proportion of the asking price achieved rose to 92.4 per cent in September from a recent low of 88.3 per cent.

This is confirmed by our own research - our recently launched House Prices & Affordability Index reveals six consecutive months of stable or positive monthly price growth.

However, our research also shows that it’s the higher end of the market, populated by equity rich homeowners chasing a limited supply of property, that’s been driving the recent price rises. It is, moreover, London and the South that’s been most bouyant.

With this in mind, it’s hard to argue with the conclusion reached by Hometrack’s Richard Donnell: “Much of the increased activity in recent months has been driven by bargain hunters and those who are less affordability constrained.

“Looking ahead, it seems likely that low sales volumes and a general scarcity of housing for sale is a trend set to support prices in London and the South East for the remainder of the year and further price rises are
likely in the very short term.

“Across the rest of the country where the housing demand/supply imbalance is less pronounced overall prices are set to track sideways.”