The guv’nor and ‘is bird

We’re not talking Alanis Morrisette “rain on your wedding day” irony here, we’re talking actual, implying-the-opposite-of-what-is-the-case kind of irony - the kind that has you scratching your head like an evolutionary throwback while emitting a series of bewildered guttural croaks.

The cause of my confusion, bordering upon chagrin, stems from Guy Ritchie’s recent rant to Empire Magazine about the state of London house prices.

The successful (?) British film-maker and all-round cockney geezer (born in Hatfield, Hertfordshire) decided he was well within his rights to have a moan about bloody foreigners buying up bricks and mortar and making it impossible for the great British working class to afford anything.

Or something like that. Here’s an actual quote:

“House prices don’t go down, they just go up.

“The natives of England are sort of being left behind because the big money came in and if it wanted something it bought it and made a bigger fortune doing so.

“And as anyone who has tried to buy a house in Central London knows, it’s almost impossible to do so unless you have ten million quid.”

Good thing for Mr. Ritchie then that he does have the aforementioned millions to purchase a decent home for his growing family and multi-platinum selling global superstar millionairess American wife.

The couple are rumoured to own five properties in the Capital alone, including a £7 million pad in Marylebone and the 10 bed house next door (a steal at £6 million) as well as a couple of mews cottages nearby.

Would it be entirely cynical to suggest that Ritchie is using house price frustration to garner a little publicity for his latest flick, RocknRolla?

This, apparently, centres on some Russian gangsters and a dodgy property deal gone wrong in old Laandan Taahn.

There’s no word yet on whether they are the kind of “Russian oligarchs” that are bringing in their “new money” and “doubling the price on everything.”

Here’s hoping geezer Guy’s wayward words don’t land him on any mobster hitlists come release. Although if I were him, I’d be more afraid of all those first-time buyers gathering around his door…

To get the full-on mockney effect of this article, you can translate it into geezer-speak here

Related Tags: House Prices, House Prices, American, Prime London

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