I’ve been looking at pictures of the Kingsway Exchange bunker complex … which has just come on the market … and I can’t shake off an overwhelming sense of dread and panic.

Maybe it’s because to my eyes those long yawning corridors look like something from the spaceship in Alien.

You just know that if you ever have to take refuge here you’re going to end up in a lung-bursting sprint down these corridors with lights flickering, klaxons blaring, pipes bursting and something big slithery and … Oh j j jesus… What’s that overhe… aggghhhhh!!!

That’s bad enough.

But then I looked at the living quarters and I started to pray that if ever there’s a nuclear strike on London I’ll be close to the bomb blast because I’m not sure I could endure the awful tedium of brown carpet tiles creeping up the cafeteria walls and … year after year of … snooker.

The complex was initially constructed as a communications and intelligence hub if the Germans invaded … and later it contained a ‘hot line’ connecting the White House directly to the Kremlin during the Cold War.

(It’s 1974. A red phone echoes shrilly down the corridors. A hand adorned with a sovereign picks it up: “Nikolai, mate, look, let’s knock this arms race on the ‘ed and settle this like men … best of 17 frames?)

No wonder Churchill was keen to fight ‘em on the beaches instead …

If you like this kind if thing, you’ll love Subterranea Britannica Ltd.

Full details of The Kingsway Exchange.

Related Tags: Bunker, Kingsway Exchange, General

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