Are you a financier who raked in a multi-million dollar fortune during the boom?

Bored with your world class art collection, your international portfolio of prime properties, your string of thoroughbred Polo ponies?

Looking for an interesting way to spend some of the $350m you amassed during the wonder years?

Well step forward, my much misunderstood Master of the Universe, and allow me to introduce you to the mighty Phoenix 1000 Luxury Submarine, a 213-foot extravaganza that runs to 5,000 square feet of turbo-charged underwater excess.

The price tag is a suitably insane $78m, and the specifications – across all four floors – are so decadently outrageous that they’d put Caligula to shame (“rich fabrics, beautiful woods and replete with the finest leathers.”)

Of course, for a man such as yourself, an investment of this magnitude is not be entered into rashly and without due diligence (as if!)

So to help you make a decision, here are some points to mull over:

The pros:

  • Yachts? Pah! In the mega rich game of one-upmanship the largest private undersea vehicle ever built trumps the lot!

  • Dive below the waves when the weather turns choppy; leave the paparazzi floundering in your wake as you sink without trace

  • Laugh in the face of Somali pirates, who’ll need a bloody big oxygen tank and frankly enormous flippers to chase you in this.

The cons:

  • Das Boot, The Hunt for Red October, K-19: The Widowmaker

  • Kinda makes you look like a Bond villain

  • Giant octopus! Giant octopus!

Personally, I think you should go for it – and not just because the the folks over at US Submarines pay $50,000 to anyone who refers a suitable buyer (honest!)

Related Tags: luxury submarine, General